Building a Legacy – Farewell, Akira Toriyama Sensei

There are a few individuals I consider my heroes and role models. Foremost among them is my grandfather. The very manner of his passing dealt a big blow to everyone in my family and left an everlasting impact on my life. His death forced me to understand the reality of time and come to terms with what is a natural aspect of life. From my struggles to my greatest triumphs, my grandfather remains an inspiration in everything I do. His legacy is the deeply cherished memories we shaerd in our time together.

I can say much of the same with regards to the works of Toriyama sensei, and in particular, the Dragon Ball franchise. I didn’t grow up with the franchise as many others did. In fact, it all started with Dragon Ball Z, the official sequel to the original Dragon Ball. I was in Singapore at the time, on a family trip with my parents and my sister. My parents were eager to take us out shopping and touring but I wasn’t having any of it.

No, I was too busy hooked onto the TV watching an incredibly buff guy, with crazy hair, falling off what looked like a gigantic snake supported by clouds, and into hell. Amazingly enough, he would pat off the damage from his fall as if it were nothing, and then proceed immediately to fly straight back up to the clouds willling himself to find a way back onto the path.

And that is all I would remember about this character for some time. My parents dragged me out of the room and took us out for the day. A few years later, I would reunite with this character again at my friend’s home while playing Dragon Ball Z: Budokai on his PlayStation 2 (incidentally, also my first PlayStation 2 game ever). I was hooked and would soon get fully immersed and acquainted with the world of Dragon Ball Z and its diverse array of characters.

The series’ protagonist Son Goku was (and remains) my favorite. Goku’s ability to overcome seemingly insurmountable challanges, his enduring willpower, his undying love for friends and family, as well as his healthy appetite and joyful approach to life (a major shonen trope these days, after all, Toriyama pioneered the modern shonen manga) made it look like he had it all. For a teenager like me who was experiencing racism and segregation at school, and with barely any friends to relate to, Goku was a hero. I wanted to be just like him. I wanted to be courageous enough to accept my weaknesses and strong enough to overcome them.

Now, looking back, I can proudly say I accomplished exactly that. From overcoming my personal inhibitions to putting 100% towards my goals, I am a confident individual happily pursuing my dreams. Most importantly, through Goku, I learned the lessson of humility and to acknoweldge those who have supported and encouraged me in my journey. A quick call out to Master Roshi, I have also done my best to work hard, eat well, and sleep well, too! (Though, it has been a little more difficult, recently, with a hyperactive toddler!)

It is funny what invisible strings connect us all. I still remember those days, lying on my bed, lost in my imagination, in scenarios where I’m saving the world or facing my demons, while imitating Goku’s signature Kamahameha. Those moments are now cherished memories. Berserk’s Kentaro Miura, Yugioh’s Kazuki Takahashi, and now, Dragon Ball’s Akira Toriyama. It truly feels like the end of an era. Toriyama sensei, you have left behind a monumental legacy. Dragon Ball was my initiation into the worlds you created. Thank you for everything you did to bring your characters to life and to share their stories, as well as yours, in what has been an inspirational journey.

When Dreams Fade – Battling Depression and Finding Purpose

It has been a while everyone. The daily circumstances of my life took a sharp nose dive since my last post on March 15, 2023. To provide some context, I need to go back to 2021 when my wife and I received the greatest gift we could ask for, our baby daughter. Her birth brought forth an enormous amount of change in our lives. We moved from Edmonton, our “20s” home, to Calgary. I landed the ideal job in a career that allowed me to equally indulge my appetite for science, writing, and other creative pursuits.

Our journey as parents hasn’t been easy and remains a struggle to this day but we love our little girl. Ups and downs are the norm and we had to postpone some of our plans and goals but the ensuing joy we found in our daughter’s company made it all worth it.

My wife played an enormous role in motivating me toward a career in writing. She wholeheartedly wished that I pursue my dreams to the fullest and to never give up on my goals. Going into 2022, I wanted to do the same for her. After our daughter’s one-year birthday, I encouraged her to pursue doctoral studies, and so, it began.

A Series of Unfortunate Events

Several factors must come together when you are working toward your dreams and living as a family. In our case, it just was not meant to be. With my remote, work-from-home job, we thought the stage was set for a glorious transition. We were off to a great start in the fall of 2022, with my wife heading to university, and our daughter coping well in her absence. In fact, it was better than expected and I had the opportunity to experience several special moments as a father while taking care of our daughter at home.

But in due time, things would get increasingly difficult, especially from a work-life balance front. Having the support of your family is one thing and we were doing great in that aspect but my wife lacked the same in her career. A supportive, encouraging, and understanding supervisor is crucial for a student’s success. Unfortunately, my wife did not get that option. The insurmountable stress from her work would carry into our day-to-day lives. Gradually, our nights became sleepless, there were arguments, struggles in understanding each other’s frustrations, desperation in wanting to support each other’s dreams, and just trying to keep it all together.

Unexpected health emergencies involving our daughter would add to the caustic mood that pervaded our home. After several months of bitterness, fatigue, and exhaustion, we realized that this state of affairs was not sustainable. When the simple act of driving to your workplace sets you mad with stress, you know that something is wrong. As such, my wife decided to give up on her studies. Standing in the wake of her decision, as her dreams fell apart, all I could do was to hold her tight and let her know that everything would be all right.

A Short-Lived Peace

Despite how awful it felt initially, we knew it was the right decision. This was evident in the immediate and immense sense of relief that followed, as though a massive burden was lifted off of our shoulders. With it, there were fewer arguments, peaceful nights, and a lot more laughter in our home.

My wife missed spending time together as a family. She missed her daughter. She missed us. Putting everything aside, we strolled happily into March 2023. Our days were rife with adventure and our nights were filled with hope and wonder. Everything seemed perfect again. Never did I expect what followed afterward.

Sinking

I liken it to an instant fury. An explosion of emotions that carried me away and in its passing, I felt like I was drowning. I didn’t understand what happened but over a few days, I observed my wife slowly retreat into a corner within herself. No matter how much I tried to help, it didn’t make a difference.

The physical symptoms came first. It happened after my wife had stopped breastfeeding. Weekly cycles of nausea, fainting spells, and absolute fatigue. There seemed to be no end to it, and with every consecutive wave, I could sense my wife’s mental strength seep away.

Where there had once been renewed hope and happiness, and excitement for newer beginnings, there was now emptiness, apathy, and extreme grief. Two years after her pregnancy, my wife was diagnosed with severe postpartum depression.

Finding ourselves

For the rest of 2023, I felt like a spectator looking in on my wife’s struggles. Nothing I did seemed to help and all I could do was to just be there by her side. I felt like I had lost my partner while my wife felt that she had lost herself.

I wished to help her find her way back and I acknowledged that she needed this support from someone other than myself. A few months later, in the summer of 2023, my wife started therapy. It was on a need-to basis but it provided her a safe space to vent, gather her thoughts, and come to terms with her life. Old scars re-emerged, new wounds dug deeper, and dreams faded.

Closure

Reflecting on all of this, what my wife and I envisioned for our life after a child was in stark contrast to the reality we experienced. We frequently kept wishing about recovering lost time. It was most difficult for my wife. From the denial that she faced such a reality, to the anger for all the complications throughout her pregnancy, to bargaining on her goals and sinking in the depression that followed, to finally mourning for all that had come to pass.

Acceptance was not easy but we somehow made it. Our days and nights are better. We stumble on occasion but we have learned to pick ourselves up. Our daughter has been the light in the darkness. Living with her has all been about living in the moment and in that sense, we have grown stronger as a family. As for my wife and myself, this experience has only brought us closer. 2024 now lies ahead in an opportunity to rediscover ourselves and push ahead with renewed hope. We have remained steadfast in our promises to keep seeking our dreams and to be there for each other.

Now, it is back to the drawing board. I intend to pick up the pieces that were left behind, re-collect the dreams that had faded, and give them new purpose. After all, isn’t that what life is all about?

The Lost Artist – Chapter 1 – Where do I start?

Paper? Check. Pencil? Check. Eraser? Check. Drawing table? Check. Now, what do I do? Well, you draw.

Sounds simple enough, but it’s easy to put in action. The greatest challenge beginner artists face as they embark on their creative journey, be it as a hobby or as a long-term professional goal, is finding an answer to the big fat question staring back at them from a blank sheet of paper,

WHERE THE HECK DO I START?

The worst part about this question is in trying to find an answer you can easily fall into a rabbit hole of opinions, comments, and suggestions from various professionals in the field. All that information, coming from so many different directions, can leave one confused and stressed. I’ve been there and it took me nearly two years to get out of that cycle and find my own path toward my creative goals.

To start, the most common advice you get to hear is, to begin with the fundamentals. This covers everything from learning how to draw with lines, shapes, forms, adding value and texture, alongside a slew of other things like perspective, figure drawing, etc. While this approach works REALLY well for a lot of people, it isn’t necessarily the ONLY recipe for success.

When I started, I took this advice wholeheartedly and went hardcore on learning all the fundamentals. I sat there deconstructing my subjects into forms, practicing my lines, shading, and a lot more. But, after a while, the whole process felt tedious and, to be honest, boring.

I reached out to the community. I read about what other artists had done, and in most cases, the answer I got back was to keep pushing on. Practice makes perfect and that is true. Every artist and mentor I reached out to had the right idea but there was something more to their advice that flew completely under my radar.

After nearly a year of inconsistent progress, I took a step back to get some perspective. I gradually recognized that just as much as art is a subjective medium, so too is the process or path that one takes toward becoming an artist. There is truly no RIGHT way that works for all.

This doesn’t mean practice doesn’t make perfect or that learning the fundamentals doesn’t help. Rather, how one goes about learning the fundamentals or gearing practice sessions to their needs and interests can make an enormous difference in maintaining enthusiasm and commitment to their goals as an artist.

My initial approach had focused too hard on perfection and too fast on success and so much so that I never really got anywhere with it. I purchased a good chunk of reference books, looked up a lot of online resources and courses, practiced the fundamentals, jumping from one lesson to another, and only ended up being overwhelmed.

Taking a step back helped me realize there was nothing wrong in starting with what I liked to draw and slowly building out from there. In due course, I recognized the skills I needed to tackle different aspects of my projects and artwork while gauging it against the work of other established masters in the field.

Adopting what I considered a “project-oriented” approach, I redefined my artistic lessons based on my personal goals: to take the scripts and stories I write and bring them to life through art. I wanted to enhance my writing through art. And using that art, I wished to work toward a possible long-term goal as an animation director. [I have backups too in the form of a comic book artist]. I finally had a direction.

Having identified my destination, I was able to pinpoint the relevant skills I required to start my journey. The fundamentals were certainly important, but more so than that, was also the need to draw consistently. Revisiting the references I had scoured through earlier, I slowly put together a solo artist program (currently in progress and under continual development) that not only met my specific interests (from the types of drawing media I gravitated to, the styles, etc.) but also enabled me to learn my fundamentals through projects of my own liking.

While this approach is highly subjective to my personal goals, they gather inspiration from other artists in the field whose courses I have followed and who provide a great bunch of online resources that all beginner artists can follow. Thus far, I can say that I have found great success and motivation to keep up with my goals.

So, from this noob artist here to my awesome readers out there, if you are much like me (or otherwise) and prefer a project-oriented approach that also enables you to tackle and learn the fundamental skills necessary, my advice would be to start by identifying your personal goals for your art career.

Knowing a specific endpoint, no matter how far down the timeline, that you are aiming for can really help get you started in identifying the skills you need. This helps build focus and also avoid stretching yourself too thin.

Following this, use projects or subject areas that interest you as a platform to build your fundamentals in an iterative but dynamic learning process. For example, if you love drawing animals and love pen-and-ink as a medium, there is nothing wrong in structuring your studies to focus within that medium and build out from there.

You can begin by learning how to deconstruct animals into basic forms and build out the animal’s physical structure using lines. As pen-and-ink is a “linear” medium, you then get to add to the details using various kinds of line strokes. Through each step, you learn something fundamental and you get a drawing done.

If it wasn’t obvious, I love drawing animals too, and here is one of a lioness I happily whipped up using Clip Studio Paint.

Most importantly, recognize that it is completely OK if you are not satisfied with your end product. It is OK to fail. Just don’t dwell on it. Continue onward to another subject and work on what you missed the last time around. In what is a constructive and iterative process, you get to hone your skills regularly while also enjoying the process.

Using this approach protected me from getting overwhelmed by the resources out there and learning effectively in a piece-wise fashion. An apple a day keeps the doctor away. Similarly, learning one small facet a day, be it as simple as looking at subjects and deconstructing them into primitive forms, IS progress and can really keep your doubts away. Trust in the process! After all, you made it out of your own willingness to improve.

On that note, I will see you next in Chapter 2, where I share my experience of the first two months of my solo artist program, the courses I have undertaken, and some awesome resources that all beginner artists must indulge in.

And, as always, don’t forget to follow my artwork at LockeInArt on Instagram!

Celebrating Hinamatsuri and cultural connections

On March 3rd, my wife and I celebrated Hinamatsuri with our baby daughter.

Hinamatsuri, also called “doll’s day” or “girls’ day”, is one among the many beautiful traditions of Japanese culture. With preparations usually made over the preceding month, Hinamatsuri is an occasion to celebrate the health and happiness of young girls in the family.

The good wishes are expressed through the consumption of specific foods and intricate displays of hina-ningyō (ornamental dolls) representing the Emperor and Empress, their attendants, and musicians in the traditional court dress of the Heian period.

Wait, let’s back up…How did this all start?

Legend has it that the practice began in China where small paper or straw dolls were used as a medium to offload and absolve people of their sins and misfortune. After rubbing the dolls over their bodies, they would then be set off on the river and float away into the ocean or the neighboring village; the point being that one’s sins were gone or quite literally swept away. These practices were emulated by Japanese aristocrats (and continues to this day in the Tottori Prefecture of Japan).

Hinamatsuri, as it is celebrated now, became fashionable during the Heian period (794-1181). The belief that one could absolve themselves of their sins expanded to include hina-ningyō and the dolls were forever symbolized as vessels for prayers of hope and prosperity.

As dollmakers got better and better at crafting hina-ningyō, their increasing prices, value, and quality also leapt correspondingly. Families no longer were keen on absolving their sins with the dolls and chucking them into the nearby river. Rather, the dolls began to be placed on show, with increasingly intricate displays.

The hina-ningyō were first recognized and used in the manner they are now as part of the Peach Festival, Momo no Sekku (as peach trees typically flower around this time), when Princess Meisho succeeded the throne following her father Emperor Go-Mizunoo, in 1629.

Public domain

As female emperors were not allowed to marry, Empress Tokugawa Masako created a doll arrangement showing Meisho as being wedded. Hinamatsuri, as a festival, would officially become recognized in 1687.

So, how do we display the dolls?

It all depends on how many you have!

The entire set of dolls and accessories is called the hinakazari and can include up to fifteen dolls and various accessories for an enormous tiered display.

The most expensive dolls are placed at the highest tiers to keep them out of the reach of young children.

So, to start, the number of tiers and dolls a family can display depends on their budget. Generally, a set of the two main dolls including the Emperor and Empress is ample enough. The dolls are seated on red cloth amidst accessories that complete the representation of a Heian period wedding.

It is common practice for the dolls to be gifted after birth, with every girl in the family getting her own set of dolls. My wife was gifted her very own set when she was a baby by her grandparents (or my daughter’s great-grandparents). Our baby daughter got her own set (below) this year as a gift from her grandparents.

Enough about the dolls, what about the food?

My daughter asked the same question.

An assortment of treats are usually made for the occasion including Hishi mochi (multi-colored rice cakes), Ichigo daifuku (strawberries wrapped within adzuki bean paste), Sakuramochi (rice cakes with bean paste wrapped in a picked cherry blossom leaf), Ushiojiru (clam soup; the clam’s two sides fit perfectly to represent a strong marriage), and Amazake (sweet sake and non-alcoholic as we have kids involved).

-FYI, I felt real hungry as I wrote this-

Now, you don’t have to make all of this. It is difficult enough running after the little ones at home. Multi-tasking to make all these dishes, especially without assistance from other family members (as in our case, when our in-laws and immediate family live on the other side of the planet) would be a nightmare.

With our daughter mostly governing the house at this stage, we focused on creating one perfect dish, the Chirashizushi. This dish usually includes a combination of raw fish, veggies, and rice arranged in a bento box.

My wife’s chirashizushi included cooked shrimp, eggs, cucumbers, carrots, mushrooms, salmon caviar, and flavored sushi rice (all of which our daughter absolutely loves).

What happens to the dolls afterward? How about the boys?

Superstition states that the dolls must be put away the day after Hinamatsuri, as keeping them up any longer would result in a late marriage for the daughter. No worries here though, as this practice largely originated to protect the dolls from the rainy season and humidity that followed Hinamatsuri. Some families even keep the dolls up for the entire month.

Now, you may be wondering if this is “girls’ day,” what about the boys? Well, the boys don’t miss out as they actually have their own celebration a little later in the summer on May 5th, now known as Children’s day in Japan, but historically called Tango no Sekku or “Boys’ day.”

What’s the cultural connection?

I’m Indian and my wife is Japanese-Canadian, and we are very set on exposing our daughter to traditions from all three cultures. Whenever we discover a cultural parallel (and there are many), we are all the more excited to learn more ourselves.

In celebrating Hinamatsuri, I discovered that the festival and its Chinese counterpart share parallels with an ancient South Indian festival observed during the greater annual Hindu festival, Navaratri, in the honor of the goddess Durga. Known as Bommai Kolu, or Doll Festival, it is an occasion where young girls and women display dolls and worship the three Hindu Goddesses: Parvathi, Lakshmi, and Saraswati.

Much like Hinamatsuri, the Bommai Kolu is an occasion promoting creative expression for women and the fostering of family bonds, the difference being it is celebrated in the autumn festive season as opposed to spring.

What did we celebrate?

The family road so far has been a rough one for my wife and myself. As happy as we are in the company of our baby daughter, her birth came in the wake of a very difficult pregnancy, various health scares, and multiple hospital visits over the last two years.

Thankfully, our daughter is now hale and healthy, and living her best life while running an empire at home. She is our little queen with a big attitude, and an even bigger heart.

So, this Hinamatsuri we celebrated her good health for many more years to come, our happiness together as a family, and the joyful chaos she will be doling out on our lives.

How to get started as an amateur artist – my journey so far!

Back in November 2021 I wrote a post about Getting back into Art and how it boiled down to a balancing act between my day job as a freelance science writer and my nighttime escapades as a story writer and aspiring comic book artist.

Just a few weeks after that post, I landed a permanent, full-time position as a science writer for the magazine Lab Manager. 2021 would come to a close with my family relocating to Calgary, Alberta. The months to follow would be wave upon wave of developments. My baby daughter was growing up, and fast! It was all I could do to keep up with her, my day job, and an assortment of other day-to-day commitments, while my wife was off to grad school.

My prospective plans for the Story Art Mentorship program I had enrolled in for 2021-2022 crumbled to pieces. I realized that I needed to be realistic with the time I had available for myself (there wasn’t much). I had to be patient and wait for my baby daughter to become the toddler she was destined to be (when I could recover a semblance of regularity in my daily activities). Until then, art (and writing) would have to remain in the sidelines.

This was awful but I found a way around it. I began organizing all the knowledge I had gained toward my artistic goals over the last four years. all the way from my experiences at the various comic-cons and art expos, the many mentors I had met and connected with, the various art books and online resources I had purchased, to the persisting doubts and questions yet to be answered. I collected all of this into a mental journal of sorts which I transcribed into my OneNote Notebook. Come 2023, this journal has transformed into an all-encompassing organizer and a solo art study program that I have adopted for myself.

What I had originally perceived as a step backward from my creative goals, became the greatest jump toward them. Ever since my last post, I have had the chance to build upon my artistic skills and foundations in an iterative manner (as you can see in the header image). No mistake about it, I still have a LONG way to go. At times, I do feel like Achilles racing against the tortoise (representative of my ever growing list of goals and challenges), in Zeno’s paradox. But, I’m very glad with the progress I have made so far.

Moving forward, I would like to share this journey with all my readers and any of my peers in the artistic community, reading in. While my approach is largely subjective to my circumstances and personal life, I hope that some part of the resources that I have found and the steps I have taken, connect and help any aspiring artists among my readers.

Next up, I will begin by addressing the first and biggest challenge for most beginner artists getting started on their journey, and one that I particularly had difficulty with: How does one start in the first place?

And before you go, remember, you can also follow my art work and progress at at LockeInArt on Instagram where I post my finished pieces!

What to do when you can’t do much – Dad edition

Part of being a fulltime work-at-home father and taking care of your baby daughter all day, while your partner is off to university, is to be ok with not being able to do anything at all.

Pose me with this problem, a few years back, I would have probably gone crazy. Thankfully, 12 years of university experience came through and gave me an indispensable ability to adapt to fast-changing environments, or in other words, my daughter.

Now, children come in all forms and fortunately, my daughter is an absolute angel. Of course, this offer doesn’t discount its fair share of troubles, but as long as we are able to maintain a consistent routine of dad doing absolutely nothing but procrastinate all day with his daughter, then we are talking business.

At first, the transition was very difficult. It was frustrating that I couldn’t do my hobbies or work on my own terms. Schedules weren’t schedules anymore. Rather, my planner became the equivalent of a versatile Power Morpher, morphing into different Rangers that I had to contend with every day.

But, as the months passed by, I realized that there was a lot more to the chaos than I gave credit for.

Don’t underestimate the value of doing nothing, of just going along, listening to all the things you can’t hear, and not bothering.

Winnie the Pooh

Pooh was right. Spending time with my daughter and just absorbing what she had to offer while committing to this daily ritual of procrastination really opened my eyes to all the valuable little details of my life.

In every moment that I got to share with my daughter, I found an entire life’s worth of inspiration, joy, and comfort. I learned to listen more than I have ever before, experiencing a great boost in my mental state, and an explosion of energy when it came to my creative pursuits. In my daughter’s company, I was seeing life through her eyes and experiencing the wonder of many firsts to come.

So, in due time, I was able to turn the tables and figure out four important things that I can do when I can’t do much in the first place:

1. It’s all about perspective.

Children are great at making you reconsider your perspective on just about anything. I used this to great benefit when it came down to tackling work and learning to reframe my mindset when confronted by new challenges.

2. Developing a mental diary/sketchbook

I didn’t have much time to do writing during the day, so how could I still get work done, when I’m not sitting in front of a computer? Carrying a mental diary/sketchbook of sorts is perfect for this. I capitalized on this during my daughter’s naptime and quiet playtime, creating mental charts on my graphic novel plots, sketchbook ideas, science articles to write, and developing a mental monologue on my professional work and creative hobbies. Once my partner came home, thanks to all the mental preparation, I would get all my day’s work done in the span of an hour or two. Productivity + Efficiency = Success!

3. Lots of Reading

You can find no better reading partner than your own child. My daughter loves books and she loves going through them by herself. Dad has a long reading list of his own, spanning all the stuff he wants to learn when it comes to writing novels, art, and fun. It is about time that he works through that list. So, what do we do? We read together. My daughter loves it when I can get involved in what she does by doing something similar. This leaves me with the opportunity of learning something new and improving my skills while teaching some to my daughter as well. Also, this works especially well during naptime!

4. Seeing the bigger picture and the value of time

Every good thing comes to an end. Children grow up REALLY fast. My daughter is an extreme case of that but I’m happy with it. She has taught me the value of time and how important it is to enjoy every moment we have with our loved ones, whenever and wherever possible. Indeed, these moments are precious memories we can revisit for many more years to come.

With all that said, rather than fight to work against my daughter’s flow, I made my routine a part of her own, enhancing my own productivity as a result. Most importantly, I have fully embraced the fact that there is nothing wrong in taking a step back and doing absolutely nothing for part of the day. After all, when it comes to children, there is always a happy surprise waiting to inspire you, around every corner.

Biryani – Recapping 2022

End of the year = recap time! It is an opportunity to look back at what I have accomplished and give myself a pat on the back. More often than not though, these recaps feature an expansive list of incomplete goals that I carry into the new year. 2022 is no different.

My last update in July celebrated the life of a childhood hero of mine, Takahashi-sensei, following his tragic passing. Moving on from there, everything seemed perfectly set in place to finish the second half of 2022 with a bang, but as always, life had plans of its own.

Now what does any of this have to do with biryani, the popular mixed meat and rice dish from the Indian subcontinent? Trust me, we are getting there. When it comes to Indian food, I particularly love biryani. Call me a “biryaniac”, if that is even a word, and much like all the ingredients and effort that goes into making a tasty biryani, my experience of 2022 was pretty much the same. Disclaimer: this is not an actual recipe.

We start by marinating the meat.

2022 began with an end. My wife and I left the frigid streets of Edmonton and moved to the Chinook-y plains of Calgary. Setting aside the initial melancholy of departing our 20s home in Edmonton, my wife and I grew to love what we found in Calgary. Settling into our new townhouse was a work of six months. Getting into the groove of being a full-time father, a lot more.

But, the longer the marination, the better it is.

Every moment with my baby daughter is a precious gift. From the swift punches to the sloppy kisses, she has taken me on the wildest ride of my life, one that continues to this day. My new career as a science writer was practically the cherry on top. The opportunity to work from home meant I could remain a constant presence in my her daily life while I continued working toward my professional goals.

With all the preparatory materials at hand, we move forward to get the spice paste, vegetables, and rice ready for our biryani.

Rolling into summer, we ground the spices and chopped the vegetables, categorically organizing our plans for the second half of 2022, and soaked the rice (in water) in anticipation of a family reunion. After nearly three years into the pandemic, we finally got to see our families again over the summer. The purchase of my first car would make the deal all the sweeter and much of the time between June to August would be spent on road trips visiting nearby destinations and relatives. I would also celebrate 31 years of traveling around the sun. Covid remained a worry and we would do our best to be vigilant and keep our activities to minimalistic affairs. Still, despite all our efforts, we would all fall sick with Covid by the end of summer, after having avoided it for nearly two years.

Temper and sauté time.

Covid brought everything to a halt. It was a frustrating experience. We were especially worried sick about our daughter. Post the sauté, came the cooking of the meat and the rice. And cook we did, feverishly so for a few weeks. We recovered in due time but the damage was done and our initial momentum stifled. In what was to follow, we couldn’t catch a break as it was soon assembly time.

Biryani, assemble.

From the pan and into the fire, layer by layer, we had to assemble our biryani, and that was when I took a step back from social media altogether. Each layer had its share of mixed ingredients. Dipping into the fall season, the first layer involved my immersion as a full-time father while my wife began her doctoral studies. It was a “relativistic” experience. Little time passed by and yet it felt like years. Babies grow up so fast, and seeing my life through my daughter’s eyes was inspiring. She challenges me to think in simpler terms about almost everything we do together.

I would transfer this mindset to my personal objectives and find clarity of thought where there had once been hesitation and indecisiveness. These formative months helped define my creative goals in writing and art as I would narrow down my preferred area of focus in storyboarding and writing, identify gaps in knowledge, deal with my insecurities as a science writer [more on this in a future post], and ultimately put together a flexible and efficient timeline in a solo artist/writer program for 2023 [more on this in a future post]. The transition, as a whole, was rough but time helped sort everything out. 2022 would wrap up with a few more hiccups and medical scares on my daughter’s part (thankfully nothing too serious), but one by one, layer by layer, the biryani was well on its way to completion.

It is done.

2022 has been a year of many beginnings and endings. I came to terms with the passing of various heroes and role models of mine. In October, I received a notification of a massive slew of views for the blog, mostly focused on my post about the art of Kim-Jung Gi. I didn’t think too much about it back then, only to find out later in November, about his sudden passing. On the happier side of things, I would bid farewell to the illustrious career of one of my favorite sports idols, Roger Federer, whom I had followed since the early 2000s. To cap it off, the World Cup was a lot of fun, and it was awesome to see Messi lift the trophy!

So, when all was said and done, the biryani was a perfect blend of all the ingredients that we had put into it. Akin to a pot of emotions, it represented a 2022 that had everything in it. Having found my real calling at a personal and professional level, I am very confident about my goals for 2023 in what will be an amalgamation of writing projects including short stories, poetry, novels, and art projects, that I’m committed to delivering. With my graphic novel script in its conclusive stages, I’m looking at a breakthrough final draft ready by the end of January.

That leaves us with the last bits of garnish (this blog post) sprinkled onto our biryani (the year that was 2022), as we look forward to our New Year’s meal.

And, for those among my readers, who really want to make a biryani, here is a link to one of my favorite online recipes: Tamil Nadu-style Mutton Biryani.

With that being said, I wish everyone a belated Merry Christmas and a Happy New Year! 2023, here we come!

Yu-Gi-Oh! – A never-ending journey

Hi everyone, it is nice to be back.

While I had originally been planning to write a completely different post, news about the untimely passing of Kazuki Takahashi-sensei, the creator of Yu-Gi-Oh, changed my plans.

Having watched the anime series as well as being a hardcore fan of the manga and the card game, news about Takahashi-sensei’s passing came as quite a shock.

I discovered Yu-Gi-Oh when I was around 11 years old. My family was living in Egypt at that time, which made it all the better, as the core plot of Yu-Gi-Oh revolved against the backdrop of Egypt and its ancient history.

The card games themselves were very popular at school. This was great for a kid like me especially since it was a means through which I could find some form of inclusion (against the racism and bullying) among my peers at school. On most occasions, I would be a silent observer watching my peers play and have a riot of a time during lunch breaks.

As I didn’t have the resources to buy the actual cards, I would instead watch the aired episodes, note down the cards used by my favorite characters, find images of them online (thank god for Google), print the images at the library, and then cut them out to have my own deck of printer paper quality cards.

It would take a while before I could join in on some games with my peers. There was some mockery of my cheap deck but that would change once I began winning the games. Slowly, but surely, my victories would become a means to communicate who I was as a person to my opponents. As a result, I would gain friends and a measure of acceptance, through the game, among my peers.

Twelve years would pass until I bought my first actual Yu-Gi-Oh deck in 2017. The actual decks were cool but I still felt nothing could beat the old paper deck I made back in Egypt. Thankfully, I have kept it to this day. The cards themselves are pretty worn out but the memories they hold for me are eternal.

I have re-watched the Yu-Gi-Oh! anime series several times. While some may find its plot to be childish or incoherent on occasion, its message and themes make up for all of its flaws. There is a constant callback to the power of memories, especially of loved ones who may have passed away. There is also the strength that one can find in friendship, and through it, the courage to make your own path in life.

The card games, in many ways, mirrored the emotions and reflections of the characters and their personalities.

Altogether, the series provided quite a few powerful lessons for a kid like me who, back then, was struggling with bullying and racism in what was a constant battle to find a place for myself among my peers and as an individual.

After hearing the news of Takahashi-sensei’s death, I came across a tweet that posted the afterword he had written following the final chapter of his manga,

Suffice to say Takahashi-sensei, you succeeded. Atem said it best,

The gift of kindness you’ve given me, and the courage I’ve given you will remain with us, and that will forever bind us together.

Thank you for the gift you have given me and many others around the world through your work, and the characters you brought to life.

There, in the desert, I found a puzzle. Within it, resided a story. A story about the power of friendship, the value of compassion, the strength of courage, and the never-ending journey that is our memories of our loved ones. Thank you, Takahashi-sensei. You remain an inspiration for me in my own journey as an aspiring artist and writer.

Things Fall Apart

No, I am not referring to Chinua Achebe’s debut novel (one of my favorite reads from high school). What I’m here to talk about is when plans go caput, like they did over the last two months since my last blog entry. The feature image of this post is a very good hint as to what may be responsible.

Before you proceed, beware, the Force (for all those Star Wars fans out there) is strong with this post.

A recurring theme of parenthood is the inability to exact on the plans and goals we set for ourselves. You may ask, “What happened? Where were you all these days?”

Put it simply, I became Obi-Wan Kenobi. Holed up in my office, I have spent the last two months reminiscing the glory days…

For almost 8 years, I was a happy man in an awesome relationship. There was peace and tranquility…before the dark times, before my Republic fell against the onslaught and ascendance of an empire led by a baby Darth Vader.

Unlike the actual Darth Vader, this baby Darth Vader is just so much more difficult to handle. Why? Because the chaos that ensues in her presence is accompanied by a forceful load of cuteness and all sorts of mushy feelings.

Nevertheless, our battles have been legendary. Collateral damage was inevitable. The state of my home speaks to that. The battles have taken their toll on my body as well and battle scars have been plenty with the most worrisome being a recurring shoulder injury that set me back from doing any writing or art for nearly a month. Recovery has been gradual but investing in an ergonomic office set up has made a big difference. The rings under my eyes are now a permanent addition to my battle-hardened persona, and with every passing day, I feel more like this guy,

Meanwhile, my partner hasn’t been faring so well either. Setting aside the reality of dealing with teething, baby vaccinations, and COVID scares, a potent combination that screwed up all the routines that I had set in place to assist the two of us, my wife has transformed into this guy (by her own admission),

Stress is a difficult opponent, and looking after a baby can sometimes be awful especially when your time is pretty much out of your hands and serves the whims of a little human being. Mixed emotions follow when you are uncertain if you are actually happy or extremely frustrated as everything that is orderly crumbles to dust.

So, as things fell apart, I realized that it was more important to give my wife as much support as I could (not to say that I haven’t thus far). I’m grateful that I was able to land a job that enabled me to work from home. I can’t say that I succeeded 100% when it comes to helping out. It has been a work in progress as we learn from one another and our individual mistakes but on the brighter side of things, it is an experience that has only deepened our relationship as partners and as parents to our lovely angel.

Treats have been the way to go to deal with the constant stress and any unhealthy weight gain is offset by having to run after our baby daughter. Despite all these difficulties, we have had a few occasions to celebrate. Most notably, my first purchase of a car. A Mazda, my very own Razor Crest, that will serve as our family transport as we explore the endless boundaries of the galaxy that unravels in the wake of our daughter’s growth.

Today, I feel very happy to get back on the block and write this post but I can’t be certain as to how “back” I actually am. Fingers crossed that things do settle down over the next few weeks so that I can hit my groove again. If not, that is alright as well, because nothing is more important than family…actually, scratch that, nothing is more important than you, baby Lord Vader.

Here’s to seeing you all again next week, with a new hope, and a new blog post to boot.

Moving from Science to Drawing

Drawing is tough.

It is even harder when you have a toddler to keep an eye out for. I got out of that particular fix once I moved to Calgary and I was able to allocate office space for myself at my new home. All of this took well over three months (between December to February), so drawing had to be on the backburner for a while (another reason for the lack of follow up posts in The Art Corner).

Now, having eased into a working routine this month, I was ready to go crazy with my art and keep up with the good vibes I had with my previous drawing of an eye back in November.

Unfortunately, the restart began with me careening into a major roadblock. Suffice to say, it took a lot of effort to overcome this obstacle. To relate this story, I need to revisit my childhood memories. Back then, I used to draw A LOT (art competitions, drawing classes, and a large stash of comics and kids magazines kept my creative juices flowing). What defined my work was the clarity with which I was able to approach whatever I wished to draw. I enjoyed the process.

Unfortunately, growing up has its toll.

In my case, drawing became less of an active interest by the time I finished my secondary education and it was science galore once I started university. It wasn’t until I began my doctoral studies that my continued passion for writing stirred my long-forgotten love for drawing. With every story I worked on, I really wanted to bring the worlds of my imagination to life on a piece of paper.

Long story short, I had to hit the drawing board again.

As I sat down to restart my drawing adventures this March, it became very obvious very quickly that my mindset needed a major shift. It wasn’t a case of, “I can’t draw!” Rather, after 12 years at university, my mind had grown accustomed to a strictly logical thought process. This had its fair share of benefits when I had to solve physics problems and what not but it didn’t translate well into my art process.

Incorporating a systematic approach to my art helped me easily build on specific skills such as the ability to deconstruct images into basic geometric shapes and objects. This was great for getting the basic structure of my subject, but when it came down to molding these geometric shapes to match reality, I found myself spending more time critiquing the details as opposed to getting my drawing done. This made even simple drawings and assignments very taxing. I realized I was thinking too hard, and needed to “let the art flow” and “loosen up.”

That was easier said than done, especially when it had to accompany a huge shift in mindset. Logic doesn’t follow very smoothly in art and part of drawing is to learn to be ok with restating and imperfections. That was a tough nut to crack for me.

Ironically, having a toddler running around in the house helped in this aspect. By the time I sat down to draw every evening, I was too tired mentally to engage as a critic. Rather, the process gradually shifted to just putting pencil to paper, being relaxed with my approach, and most importantly, being OK with it.

This made the difference. Moral of the story, “Keep it simple. Look, hold, and draw.”

So here we are with the pieces that I got to work on recently:

This involved an assignment on learning to draw by looking at your subject as opposed to the paper. The (Left) is a classic example of me failing to be loose, and the (Right) when I succeeded. Next up is to add more definition to the feet by capturing its contours.

A product of my frustration. I needed a mental break one night, and just tried something ambitious: a rough sketch of a portrait that came up on my Facebook feed (Permissions obtained from Irina Akulenko). I didn’t care about how perfect my linework was, just kept restating and restating in what was an enjoyable 45 min drawing session. Gonna keep working on it to perfect it.